Integrating into daily life..
Due to the inspiration given to my by my friend Christina and her new blog
(http://rephreshed.blogspot.com/ ), I have decided to attempt to post again. More spefically I want to post about running. She has recently been participating in the C25K (Couch to 5K) program to get from couch potato into a runner. I have to admit I have tried many times over the years to get into something like this. Whether it is to be a runner, a (mountain or street) biker, practicing yoga or any other form of physical activity- heck! I've even tried blogging consistently before and it hasn't worked out. I'm having trouble integrating new things into my daily life. It's not that I'm not interested in any of these things but it seems that I'll get started for a few weeks or even months and then nothing.. Maybe it's that I haven't had anyone or anything to keep my motivated? I'm hoping that starting the running program will be a success this time because my boyfriend, Greg, was a runner in high school. He has expressed interest in running again. I'm hoping this is something we can do together. I think the real challenge is going to be being able to listen to him fully more so than we are at different physical standings. He was a track person and a fencer once upon a time.. and I was an art geek. I've never been very athletic. I'm hoping this can change.
nerd alert
So I've had multiple moments in the past weekend where my nerd alert has gone off. With myself of course. Last weekend I was at the beach with the team for a qualifier, and I started talking about movies with a few of the guys. We started playing this game that I love that's similar to 7 degrees of Kevin Bacon- or whatever the game is. Basically, instead of trying to link things back to Kevin Bacon, who is slightly overrated, we pick two random actors and try to link them together as closely as possible. I felt rather proud of myself a few times, because I was able to connect quickly. I realized that the amount of information that passed through my brain that I knew about movies, who was in them, scenes, quotes- was so ridiculous. Like, really ridiculous. I'm in the wrong field. I really should have been involved with movies. But some day- I'll have my own production company, and make epic movies.. so just keep the dream alive.
But I had another nerd alert this weekend. I get coupons from Borders in my email so I randomly click on if anything looks interesting. In reading through a bunch of fiction books, I tried to expand my selection to see what else is out there. After wandering around the site, I starting browsing in the science sections. I have a fascination with Quantum Physics. Real exciting right? I really like theoretical discussions. QP expanding into M-theory and String Theory. The possibilities of other dimensions interests me greatly. The fact that we live in a 3 dimension world and trying to comprehend other dimensions. It's like a 2D figure on paper trying to understand us at 3D- inconceivable! (Had to throw that in.) But really- how can we comprehend dimensions such as time and space? We cannot defy them, we can only exist in our current state. We cannot seriously comprehend what it's like to be able to move through time- backwards or forwards, slower or faster, then what we currently understand. Being able to comprehend what God can see and know with everyone, nevertheless just our small sphere of influence. Being able to see how things move from person to person. How we may never see the full implications of our actions. I of course relate this to a movie, as my mind usually does. Sliding Doors. In one moment, because of 1 small event, a woman either catches a train- or doesn't. Her life plays our according to this happening. She either makes the train and comes home to find her boyfriend cheating on her, or she misses the train, and doesn't find until much later on. It's interesting how things can happen. Are we meant to follow a certain path? Was there another hand in some things that we have gone through because it was meant to happen? Who decides that? Does that interfere with free will? These theories and questions just fascinate me so. I guess its because I love to come up with alternate answers- but it frustrates me because will I ever know? This is where I believe faith comes in. I don't really know what could happen or is suppose to happen. I don't know what God has in store for me, or what plan he has for my life. I don't know if my business will ever get off the ground. I don't know if I will succeed. I don't know if I will find the person I'm meant to be with forever. I don't know how things will play out with my family or friends. All I know, is that I'm exactly where God needs me to be, and I take it on faith that he'll lead me to the place where I can accomplish great work for him. Even though I go through questionable phases and wonder why things are the way the are, and it's difficult to accept that it's not exactly what I want when I want it- I do believe in the greater cause and try to recenter who I am and where I am to be open to being where ever it is I'm suppose to be. Maybe I'm here to make an impact on someone. Maybe this shy girl moved into the other room because I am to befriend her and impact her in some way. Maybe nothing. Maybe I'm just learning to coexist with other people who aren't family. That seems to be a tough thing thus far. The past 8 1/2 months have been interesting learning to live with different types of people. Then again, we learn something new every day...
Can't wait to see what tomorrow brings. :)
Homesick
So I'm REALLY going to write a post this time.. I've started a few updates but find myself unable to connect the thoughts to make it a noteworthy blog. So be it- my blogs may not have any readers, but at least I'll get some stuff out.
I talked to my mom again last night. I found myself rambling on about a couple of different situations which are compact with information. I really do miss her. She was telling me that my Uncle Jack was coming home this weekend and there might be a family bbq on Sunday. After we hung up I must have bawled hysterically for a good 5-6 minutes straight. I miss being home. I miss my family. I hate that they get together and I can't spare the hours and gas it takes to get 3 1/2 hours back home, stay for awhile, then the time back. I hope people don't take for granted having their family near by. I know I saw my mom a little over a week ago, but I think that's what stinks more. I freshly remember how much fun we have together.
She always seems to comment 'so you've got a lot going on!' but it really doesn't feel like it. I still have a couple nights during the week and some of the weekend where I feel like I'm staring at the ceiling doing nothing, waiting for someone to call or call me back. My life really is busy compared to some, but I find it boring at times. I think it's those times too when I really just miss being in Albany where I can just hang out at home with someone, or give Natalie a call and do something fun. This plugging away day after day in what seems like a never ending battle of trying to break out of mediocrity is exhausting, but I know it HAS to pay off some day.
On an up note, I'm looking forward to seeing a movie this weekend. It's been awhile since I've been to the theatre. The last time was just after The Dark Knight came out & I went to go see it by myself because I was so determined to see it after 3 days of it being sold out. Totally worth it.
My roommate was telling me about The Women. It seems like an interesting movie. I know it's a total chick flick, but from what I can gather from the storyline, I'm just hoping that it's not a male bashing movie. It's a remake from an old 60s Joan Crawford movie. There seems to be a lot of remakes off of old ideas and concepts. I wish a good Original would come out soon. No more of this remake of old books, movies, comics, graphic novels.. While it's great, lets see the talent that I know exists out there...
I ended up watching a show called 'Life after film school' and it was rather interesting. Three students interview various people in the industry- but we're not talking actors, we're talking writers, directors, producers in all tv/film additional areas I don't comprehend yet. I'm telling you- I got into the wrong industry. I should have pursued that. I should have went to film school. I know a lot about movies compared to a lot of my friends, but that's because I grew up watching movies, and still enjoy them today. I haven't been as heavily involved in my knowledge and collection as I was 4-5 years ago, but I still have a good basis of knowledge from the viewers' side. I can't wait to learn about the ins and outs of the production. I would love to take classes learning each point of view.
People have been telling me, 'You're so young. You have plently of time to figure out what you want to do.' Not according to colleges or financial aid. They don't assist you as much as you think. And college is outrageously expensive. Maybe I can just unofficially learn as much as I can and make a random break through someday.. We'll see. Sometimes dreams need to take the back burner while we find the means.
greetings & salutations
So I created a blog, mainly to harrass my new found friend: Kangarooby, but I am actually looking forward to posting a lot of non-sense and random things people can relate to which will hopefully results in additional online friendships from fellow bloggers.
I am infamous for run-on sentences, incomplete thoughts, dueling sarcasm and changing from topic to topic (without warning) in a thought process which seems only to make sense to myself.
Random thought and/or concern of the day is the lack of knowledge I possess about cooking. Now, I can bake things that would rival Betty Crocker (not really, but they taste rather good), but I cannot cook a full meal. I tend to either need to cook one thing at a time for fear of being overwhelmed when 3 things need to come off the stop at once, or I burn things because my attention span goes elsewhere. I have actually burned grilled cheese twice because I walked away to get or check something and I forgot I was cooking. Thank goodness toaster ovens have timers or I would have caught Bre's on fire this weekend as I put bread in the oven then walked away upstairs to get something. On my way through the kitchen I smelled the toast, which thankfully was ok, and promptly removed it from the oven. I can multi-task on the computer, in the office, even while managing the cash box and standing order at the tool table. It just stinks that once I enter the kitchen, all useful skills seem to be left behind.
I want to get a cooking for dummies book, but I don't know if it will help. So for now I'm still consuming anything microwavable. At least sandwiches don't take much talent. And then there's the amazing meals prepared for me by my friend Lori. Gotta love Italians and their need to feed you their amazing food. I'm looking forward to eating out tonight. A large group of Metamorphosis women will be meeting at La Parma for a free meal, compliments of our founder, for assisting in all the trainings. JOYOUSNESS!
