Speak What you Want as if it Were.

Homesick

So I'm REALLY going to write a post this time.. I've started a few updates but find myself unable to connect the thoughts to make it a noteworthy blog. So be it- my blogs may not have any readers, but at least I'll get some stuff out.
I talked to my mom again last night. I found myself rambling on about a couple of different situations which are compact with information. I really do miss her. She was telling me that my Uncle Jack was coming home this weekend and there might be a family bbq on Sunday. After we hung up I must have bawled hysterically for a good 5-6 minutes straight. I miss being home. I miss my family. I hate that they get together and I can't spare the hours and gas it takes to get 3 1/2 hours back home, stay for awhile, then the time back. I hope people don't take for granted having their family near by. I know I saw my mom a little over a week ago, but I think that's what stinks more. I freshly remember how much fun we have together.
She always seems to comment 'so you've got a lot going on!' but it really doesn't feel like it. I still have a couple nights during the week and some of the weekend where I feel like I'm staring at the ceiling doing nothing, waiting for someone to call or call me back. My life really is busy compared to some, but I find it boring at times. I think it's those times too when I really just miss being in Albany where I can just hang out at home with someone, or give Natalie a call and do something fun. This plugging away day after day in what seems like a never ending battle of trying to break out of mediocrity is exhausting, but I know it HAS to pay off some day.
On an up note, I'm looking forward to seeing a movie this weekend. It's been awhile since I've been to the theatre. The last time was just after The Dark Knight came out & I went to go see it by myself because I was so determined to see it after 3 days of it being sold out. Totally worth it.
My roommate was telling me about The Women. It seems like an interesting movie. I know it's a total chick flick, but from what I can gather from the storyline, I'm just hoping that it's not a male bashing movie. It's a remake from an old 60s Joan Crawford movie. There seems to be a lot of remakes off of old ideas and concepts. I wish a good Original would come out soon. No more of this remake of old books, movies, comics, graphic novels.. While it's great, lets see the talent that I know exists out there...
I ended up watching a show called 'Life after film school' and it was rather interesting. Three students interview various people in the industry- but we're not talking actors, we're talking writers, directors, producers in all tv/film additional areas I don't comprehend yet. I'm telling you- I got into the wrong industry. I should have pursued that. I should have went to film school. I know a lot about movies compared to a lot of my friends, but that's because I grew up watching movies, and still enjoy them today. I haven't been as heavily involved in my knowledge and collection as I was 4-5 years ago, but I still have a good basis of knowledge from the viewers' side. I can't wait to learn about the ins and outs of the production. I would love to take classes learning each point of view.
People have been telling me, 'You're so young. You have plently of time to figure out what you want to do.' Not according to colleges or financial aid. They don't assist you as much as you think. And college is outrageously expensive. Maybe I can just unofficially learn as much as I can and make a random break through someday.. We'll see. Sometimes dreams need to take the back burner while we find the means.

posted by Rach @ Thursday, September 18, 2008