Speak What you Want as if it Were.

nerd alert

So I've had multiple moments in the past weekend where my nerd alert has gone off. With myself of course. Last weekend I was at the beach with the team for a qualifier, and I started talking about movies with a few of the guys. We started playing this game that I love that's similar to 7 degrees of Kevin Bacon- or whatever the game is. Basically, instead of trying to link things back to Kevin Bacon, who is slightly overrated, we pick two random actors and try to link them together as closely as possible. I felt rather proud of myself a few times, because I was able to connect quickly. I realized that the amount of information that passed through my brain that I knew about movies, who was in them, scenes, quotes- was so ridiculous. Like, really ridiculous. I'm in the wrong field. I really should have been involved with movies. But some day- I'll have my own production company, and make epic movies.. so just keep the dream alive.
But I had another nerd alert this weekend. I get coupons from Borders in my email so I randomly click on if anything looks interesting. In reading through a bunch of fiction books, I tried to expand my selection to see what else is out there. After wandering around the site, I starting browsing in the science sections. I have a fascination with Quantum Physics. Real exciting right? I really like theoretical discussions. QP expanding into M-theory and String Theory. The possibilities of other dimensions interests me greatly. The fact that we live in a 3 dimension world and trying to comprehend other dimensions. It's like a 2D figure on paper trying to understand us at 3D- inconceivable! (Had to throw that in.) But really- how can we comprehend dimensions such as time and space? We cannot defy them, we can only exist in our current state. We cannot seriously comprehend what it's like to be able to move through time- backwards or forwards, slower or faster, then what we currently understand. Being able to comprehend what God can see and know with everyone, nevertheless just our small sphere of influence. Being able to see how things move from person to person. How we may never see the full implications of our actions. I of course relate this to a movie, as my mind usually does. Sliding Doors. In one moment, because of 1 small event, a woman either catches a train- or doesn't. Her life plays our according to this happening. She either makes the train and comes home to find her boyfriend cheating on her, or she misses the train, and doesn't find until much later on. It's interesting how things can happen. Are we meant to follow a certain path? Was there another hand in some things that we have gone through because it was meant to happen? Who decides that? Does that interfere with free will? These theories and questions just fascinate me so. I guess its because I love to come up with alternate answers- but it frustrates me because will I ever know? This is where I believe faith comes in. I don't really know what could happen or is suppose to happen. I don't know what God has in store for me, or what plan he has for my life. I don't know if my business will ever get off the ground. I don't know if I will succeed. I don't know if I will find the person I'm meant to be with forever. I don't know how things will play out with my family or friends. All I know, is that I'm exactly where God needs me to be, and I take it on faith that he'll lead me to the place where I can accomplish great work for him. Even though I go through questionable phases and wonder why things are the way the are, and it's difficult to accept that it's not exactly what I want when I want it- I do believe in the greater cause and try to recenter who I am and where I am to be open to being where ever it is I'm suppose to be. Maybe I'm here to make an impact on someone. Maybe this shy girl moved into the other room because I am to befriend her and impact her in some way. Maybe nothing. Maybe I'm just learning to coexist with other people who aren't family. That seems to be a tough thing thus far. The past 8 1/2 months have been interesting learning to live with different types of people. Then again, we learn something new every day...
Can't wait to see what tomorrow brings. :)

posted by Rach @ Friday, September 19, 2008